whatever comes to mind…

Posts tagged ‘advice’

Grade my taste.

Okay so I’m still old school but life has taught me a lot and one of those things is that it’s fine for women to say damn what a fine piece of ass.

These are the 10 men that I like and each for a different reason. Some for a smile and others for the look, one or two just ooze sex appeal. There are 10 men below; out of 10 you rate my taste:  one point for each guy you agree with!

Who’s your favorite all time sexbomb?

Pierce - the all time gentleman

Pierce - the all time gentleman

Jack - for being the perfect evil guy (a strange sex appeal)

Hugh – Aaaah man – I don’t know but here he is.

Hugh - droopy eyes and crooked smile

Bruce - Need I explain? age makes improvements

Ali

Ali - Mmmm too cute on stage

Robert - Again I'm not too sure why

Richard - Just look at him

Jensen - Just purely to look at - - (and maybe touch)

Vin - shoulders with a soft side..

Nasty Lasty…

And as usual on a Friday here’s your weekly dose of giggles:

 

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

 

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.

 

Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die..

 

Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich …

 

Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

 

Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky …..

not really good for anything, but you

still can’t help but smile when

you shove them down the stairs.

 

Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

 

Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to criticism.

 

Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

 

Number 2

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

And The Number 1 Thought

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers;

what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

 

– – – and as someone recently said to me: “Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last long.”

Have a great weekend everyone – and remember – spread the joy!!!

 

Google panties??

Oh my word, I would never have guessed that people would Google panties. As a joke yesterday I tagged my blog with “panties” and was amazed when it showed four hits from tag panties and this got me intrigued so I went onto Google and decided to see what had these people’s knickers in a twist.

I was amazed to see the different types of knickers that are available to both men and women. I have attached a few pictures for you to look at. I am sure you will all recognize some of these and have plenty to say about others, so please go ahead and comment.

1.

toddler

2.

children

3.

boys leg cut

4.

hi cut

5.

full panty

6.

lacey panties

7.

granny panties

8.

the G string

9.

frilly panties

10.

the C string

Don't stretch for the top shelf.

C string for men

Thank you bloggers for theTick-Tock..

Today I have gone through so many different emotions and moods – most of them were caused due to the amount of time I spent reading through other peoples blogs- the rest were caused by the medication which the doctor has put me on for the problem I have in my heart cavity.

Firstly,  the medicine I am taking has had me itching, nauseous, shaky and confused  –  none of which I’d consider a contributing factor to recovery from heart problems.

The blogs that I have read today on the other hand, have been very amusing – some are rather funny, others informative and a few are exactly what I need to get me all steamed up and pro/anti something or other.

The people who wrote the blogs that I have laughed, smiled, cried, cheered, baked, cursed and stretched my way through today are the ones to which I wish to say thank you.

Thank – you bloggers on wordpress.com for the emotional workout you have given me today. You have put the tick tock back in my heart.

Happy place , h a p p y p l a c e . . .

Oh my goodness, if this morning hasn’t been the longest week ever…

I got to work this morning after a nice long and peaceful weekend of doing nothing but lying in/on my bed watching movies and — all hell broke loose.

My manager has decided to launch the new pricing on our software which is great, and what I been suggesting all along, what isn’t great however is the commotion that it has caused in the office. Everyone has an opinion- everyone wants help…

So I go looking for my happy place — the weekend — the movies:

AVATAR – aaah yeah look the wonderful scenery and the lovely peaceful world, the beautiful sky with all its pretty moons – AAAAAAAAArgh look at the size of that thing – and now it’s after me….

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

KUNG FU PANDA 2 – sweet little cartoons all on my side now, I’m just a big lovable bear and I can save the world. Say what?? I am adopted??? Okay I’m out of here – cannot handle the emotional stress…

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

THE REBOUND – I’m to blame here for leaving the hunky young guy, I blame it on the emotional stress of being adopted and not finding out until now…

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

CRAZY ON THE OUTSIDE – mmmm I the oh so evil ex con now falls in love with my parole officer… and now the distrust… NO THANX

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

HOUSE BROKEN – PROBLEMS

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

GREEN LATERN – PROBLEMS

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

HOT CHICK, lightening thief, karate kid, butterfly effect, date movie, how to train your dragon, she’s out of my league, bad boys 2 – PROBLEMS, PROBLEMS AND MORE PROBLEMS

OH DAMMIT – no matter which I try going to, to find my happy place, I find problems, I guess there is no happy place unless you play to the end… so back to work – back to reality!! Got to reach the end…

Keep Calm…..It’s maddening!!!(Part 2)

Okay so after learning to stay calm while people are ranting and raving, I decided to not instantly retaliate to people making snide remarks to me or about me, so now I simply bite my tongue.

Scenario:

I hadn’t been out for about 4 months and in that time was very fortunate to for some unknown reason to have lost about 16kg’s. I walk into the club and all my club buddies immediately run over to say hi and chat. This is probably a good time to explain that I am a real party animal and love my rave clubs. A real wild gran I am. So anyhow everyone there is happy to see that I am back and looking better than ever and then….

WHAM in the midst of all the happy greeting and compliments a little pint size blob decides to make a snide remark about me in front of everyone. WOW the looks that flew through the group were everything from disbelief to horror.

My emotions:

Die bitch!!!

Amusing part:

Well contrary to everyone’s expectations, I chose to pretend I hadn’t heard her and simply gave her a big hug and a hello, with my tongue firmly between my teeth and the sweetest smile on my face which definitely said exactly what I was feeling.

This poor little girl, she knew she had stepped on the wrong toes because everyone simply closed the circle and cut her out. I have been treating her as usual every time I have seen her since then but I can see by the way she is behaving herself that she cleary knows that it is not over yet.

A month down the line and she is still on her best behavior around everyone. She has no idea when I will have my sweet revenge and, being as young as she is, doesn’t yet realize that in fact this is the best revenge ever.

I probably won’t say a thing to her at all, at least not about this incident, I am strong enough to handle the insults and criticism (I have put this down to maybe jealousy) but I dare her with every ounce of my being to try insulting someone younger and more vulnerable than I am in front of me.

Keep calm… It’s maddening!!! (part 1)

I have in the past been called tactless and have tried over the past few years to bite my tongue and keep my cool. It hasn’t been easy and I have endured a bleeding tongue at times but here are two incidents that come to mind that have made it worthwhile to me.

Scenario:

I am driving along with my children in the car and suddenly this car comes off the slipway and nearly rams into the back of me. The driver in a panic hoots.

My emotions:

Absolute anger – until I see the look of total apology on the driver’s face.

Amusing part:

As we pulled up at the traffic lights the passenger in the other vehicle decided to start ranting and raving at me. I turn my head and find an elderish Indian lady glaring at me and cursing, a highly apologetic old man cringing and waving a frantic apology and two children trying in vain to hide behind the seats in embarrassment.

Amongst the insults that flew my way were incompetence as a driver, being mindless and uncaring to the safety of others and racism (the South African favorite) Every 3rd word was Fucken and the ones in between were God and culture.

From the back seat of my car I can hear my kids saying “oh oh, now mom’s mad”, so I take a big calming breath.

I sat quietly and intently listening to her raging away and when she had finished I ever so calmly and sweetly asked her please to wipe the little red spot off her forehead as her found her behavior insulting to all my Indian friends and I’m sure that Allah would not approve, I also then offered to wait on the side of the road for her apology while they drove around the block to check the road signs proving that my knowledge of “road safety” was in fact superior to hers.

Upon this her husband first gasped then snorted as he tried to hold in a giggle – this earned him her attention and as I drove off -my whole body shaking in anger but a sickly sweet smile on my face- he simply smiled and waved a farewell.

Five mintues later my daughter plucked up the courage to speak and simply said, “That was way cool mom”

That was when I realized that NOTHING angers a person more than when you remain calm during an argument. It felt great!!

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