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Posts tagged ‘men’

Nasty Lasty

Good morning everyone, Friday again and freezing in good old Durban. Today is the last day at my current job and after that I am officially unemployed. So glad the weekend is here because I haven’t had a party in ages.

Well enough chit chat for now, here’s your weekly dose of funny:

 

 

 

  A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

  One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

 

  As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, ‘You know what?  ‘You have been with me all through the bad times.  When I got fired, you were there to support me.  When my business failed, you were there.  When I got shot, you were by my side.

  When we lost the house, you stayed right here.  When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what Martha?’

 

  ‘What dear?’ she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

 

  ‘I’m beginning to think you’re bad luck…

 

 


Grade my taste.

Okay so I’m still old school but life has taught me a lot and one of those things is that it’s fine for women to say damn what a fine piece of ass.

These are the 10 men that I like and each for a different reason. Some for a smile and others for the look, one or two just ooze sex appeal. There are 10 men below; out of 10 you rate my taste:  one point for each guy you agree with!

Who’s your favorite all time sexbomb?

Pierce - the all time gentleman

Pierce - the all time gentleman

Jack - for being the perfect evil guy (a strange sex appeal)

Hugh – Aaaah man – I don’t know but here he is.

Hugh - droopy eyes and crooked smile

Bruce - Need I explain? age makes improvements

Ali

Ali - Mmmm too cute on stage

Robert - Again I'm not too sure why

Richard - Just look at him

Jensen - Just purely to look at - - (and maybe touch)

Vin - shoulders with a soft side..

Nasty Lasty…

And as usual on a Friday here’s your weekly dose of giggles:

 

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

 

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.

 

Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die..

 

Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich …

 

Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

 

Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky …..

not really good for anything, but you

still can’t help but smile when

you shove them down the stairs.

 

Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

 

Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to criticism.

 

Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

 

Number 2

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

And The Number 1 Thought

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers;

what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

 

– – – and as someone recently said to me: “Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last long.”

Have a great weekend everyone – and remember – spread the joy!!!

 

Me? Old?

I got an e-mail the other day that had me in stitches – we are all guilty of not noticing that we are all aging.

Here it is excuse the caps please.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL…..YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE!

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL ..

‘YES, YES I DID. I’M A MORGANNER! ‘HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.

‘WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?’ I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?

‘YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!’ I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN….THE UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ARSED,

GREY HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

BASTARD ASKED…….

“WHAT DID YOU TEACH?”

have a great weekend people!!
Next post Monday!

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