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Posts tagged ‘nasty’

Nasty Lasty

Good morning everyone, Friday again and freezing in good old Durban. Today is the last day at my current job and after that I am officially unemployed. So glad the weekend is here because I haven’t had a party in ages.

Well enough chit chat for now, here’s your weekly dose of funny:

 

 

 

  A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

  One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

 

  As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, ‘You know what?  ‘You have been with me all through the bad times.  When I got fired, you were there to support me.  When my business failed, you were there.  When I got shot, you were by my side.

  When we lost the house, you stayed right here.  When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what Martha?’

 

  ‘What dear?’ she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

 

  ‘I’m beginning to think you’re bad luck…

 

 


Ashton cat, I love you.

Do you know him? I did, and in my own way I loved him very deeply. From the day, in August 2009, that he came into my life, in a little box from the pet store, I knew I was fighting a loosing battle saying that he wasn’t mine.

My daughter and my friend had taken it upon themselves to go and buy a kitten without asking me first and my friend had had it microchipped and bought every kind of toy, food, bed and basket available on the market for this kitten. Total bill: R7600. What could I do ? I had to allow for space in my home for him.

Big boys don't like kisses mom

He was the scrawniest kitten I’d ever seen and always had a runny tummy, I went through 12 different foods before finding one that suited his tummy, we went to vet after vet. Eventually after about four months and half a fortune he settled down into being a healthy kitten.

But he thought he was mine…

If I bathed he was on my chest, if I tried to sleep in he’d lie on me and stare at me until I woke up. He had a special meaow which was reserved for me only. Whenever I left the house he would try to follow me or sit at the door crying until I came back.

But he wasn’t my cat. Damn cat.

I knew him better than anyone and he took my bitching and always looked at me with those oversized eyes as if to say “I understand”. We had a strange relationship. I couldn’t admit I love him but he knew I did. He was just the crazy cat.

The night before Christmas last year we had just moved and Ashton wasn’t very happy with the move, when I tried to pick him up he growled at me and I realised there was something else wrong. So at 9.30pm on Christmas eve we rushed off to the emergency vet to have him seen to.

He had a blocked bladder and we were lucky that once they had drained it he was fine again. Apparently with the stress of the move and the litter box being moved he’d decided to pinch and that had caused the blockage. I was so relieved. He was up and about on Christmas morning and very happy to find catnip biscuits and dried sardines in this stocking.

Ashton on Christmas morning - still a little weak

This past week he started looking depressed again and on Friday night he started vomiting. On Saturday 23 July 2011,  Ashton got put to sleep due to renal failure. My heart was broken, turns out that the little kitten with the upset tummy was probably born with kidney problems and was lucky to have lived for 2 years.

I know I moaned and groaned at him all the time and called him crazy cat, I know that I bitched and complained whenever I had to take him off my feet in the middle of the night so that I could roll over in my bed, I know that I kept telling him that he’s a big boy and needs to move in with my daughter now, but in all reality, he was my cat and I adored him.

When we took turns hugging him and kissing him good-bye he hung his head in sorrow and I think he knew it was good-bye. He watched as the vet trimmed his hair and stuck the needle in and then looked at me and gave me one final wink and closed his eyes as though preparing for the end, it was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life,  holding him and watching the life drain out of him.

I love you Ashton and I hope you knew that when you died. I miss you.

Ashton on a good day – bad pic though..

Just for a laugh say: Here kitty kitty…

Hello Kitty...

When was the last time you cried & why?

Oh yes, this is a very easy one to answer- I remember because it happened two months ago and I cried for days. I still feel the loss and will again come summer.

Until then my daughter, her young family and myself all lived in a flat together, we all decided to move our own separate ways. Come moving day we had 3 different moving vans there moving us to 3 different locations. And amongst all the confusion my daughter was left to pack the last few boxes.

I drove off with the van to my new house while me daughter was packing up my wardrobe, upon returning I ordered that all the boxes in my room get loaded and that while I was delivering them to the new house the garbage was to be carried out to the pavement.

Garbage bags

The move went pretty well considering the confusion of a three directional move.

Sunday morning I woke up in my new home and put on the same clothes I’d worn on Saturday and started unpacking the few boxes I had.  By the time evening came I was exhausted and had two boxes left to unpack. I had dinner and a nice hot shower and crawled into bed.

Monday morning bright and early I woke up and opened the boxes looking for something to wear to work. Mmm – kitchen appliances and curtains. Where are my clothes??

I call my daughter and ask her whether she had found my boxes of clothes only to be told that, no she hadn’t and that my clothes had been packed into black bags and left in the passage at the old flat.

These are the same black bags that we had ordered to be put on the pavement on Saturday afternoon. My entire wardrobe – underwear, shoes, everything, summer and winter… all gone!!!

I wept. In fact I sobbed for days.

The good thing is that now I have a wardrobe of only things I like and wear, only things that fit, and only things that are not outdated. The bad thing is that seasons change and when summer comes I have nothing to wear.

Nasty Lasty…

This is an old joke but it always brings a smile to my dial:

(Have a great weekend everyone)

Social Security
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.” The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”

 

Thank you bloggers for theTick-Tock..

Today I have gone through so many different emotions and moods – most of them were caused due to the amount of time I spent reading through other peoples blogs- the rest were caused by the medication which the doctor has put me on for the problem I have in my heart cavity.

Firstly,  the medicine I am taking has had me itching, nauseous, shaky and confused  –  none of which I’d consider a contributing factor to recovery from heart problems.

The blogs that I have read today on the other hand, have been very amusing – some are rather funny, others informative and a few are exactly what I need to get me all steamed up and pro/anti something or other.

The people who wrote the blogs that I have laughed, smiled, cried, cheered, baked, cursed and stretched my way through today are the ones to which I wish to say thank you.

Thank – you bloggers on wordpress.com for the emotional workout you have given me today. You have put the tick tock back in my heart.

Squash my heart…

Okay so yesterday morning at 2am I get woken up by a tearing feeling in my chest and believe me when I say I thought I was a gone-r for sure.

Every time I tried to move to reach my phone to call for help or even breathe the pain intensified, so I lay there taking tiny little breaths watching the time tick by and wondering as to how long before the pain or I was going to cease.

After about 20 minutes I managed to reach for my phone and lay there with it in my hand.

I had a million things going through my mind, firstly was that I needed to call for help, secondly was how does help get it if everything locked up and thirdly was what good does help do if I have no medical and cannot afford the treatment required for heart attacks?

So I lay their thinking plan B; I sent my kids a message saying, “good morning, I love you.”

I remember looking at the clock and thinking ‘ok it’s been over ½ hour and the pain a bit better so I took a deep breath and then tried changing positions and that was when I finally passed out.

I woke up again as normal on a Monday morning at 5.40am with my alarm yelling the rise and shines. Two things came to mind instantly 1. Shut up alarm 2. I made it.

I slowly reached out to silence the alarm and found not a blinding pain but rather a bruised feeling on the chest area, as though I’d been kicked by a horse. I got up and ever so slowly went about my daily routine.

Off to work I go and eventually decide to go to a states hospital for a check-up.

After extensive tests they have informed me that luckily there is no damage done to the heart but that I have an inflammation in the chest cavity which has swollen and is causing pressure on the heart. Not too serious but if pain not gone by today then report back. Well I am feeling a damn side better today and have a whole new outlook on life.

My heart kicked my ass and made me realize that there is a lot of things that I should have had in order. I have been given a warning in the most painful way I can imagine and I have taken care to listen, I got medical aid, I got a hospital plan, I am taking the meds and I am letting all my family and friends know why they mean the world to me.

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