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Posts tagged ‘joke’

New, clean undies

Always wear clean, new underwear in public, especially when working under you vehicle… From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to WalMart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches on his forehead.

Poor blonde painter

A blonde who’s down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighborhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door. He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting to paint his porch. He asks the blonde if she paints? The blonde says, “Sure anything. ” “Well, I’ve been wanting to paint my porch, how much would you charge? ” the man replies. “I don’t know, say $50 bucks. ” “Sounds good. Go ahead and get started. ” He closes the door and walks back inside. His wife asks him, “Who was at the door? ” He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks. The astonished wife says, “$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay her more. ” “But that’s all she said she wanted, and anyway she’s a dumb blonde! “10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the blonde stands there and says, “All done. ” With a surprised look on his face, “I can’t believe it, you’re already done painting the entire porch. “Yes, and by the way it’s not a porch it’s a Ferrari”

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