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Posts tagged ‘honesty’

Nasty Lasty

Good morning everyone, Friday again and freezing in good old Durban. Today is the last day at my current job and after that I am officially unemployed. So glad the weekend is here because I haven’t had a party in ages.

Well enough chit chat for now, here’s your weekly dose of funny:

 

 

 

  A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

  One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

 

  As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, ‘You know what?  ‘You have been with me all through the bad times.  When I got fired, you were there to support me.  When my business failed, you were there.  When I got shot, you were by my side.

  When we lost the house, you stayed right here.  When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what Martha?’

 

  ‘What dear?’ she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

 

  ‘I’m beginning to think you’re bad luck…

 

 


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Ashton cat, I love you.

Do you know him? I did, and in my own way I loved him very deeply. From the day, in August 2009, that he came into my life, in a little box from the pet store, I knew I was fighting a loosing battle saying that he wasn’t mine.

My daughter and my friend had taken it upon themselves to go and buy a kitten without asking me first and my friend had had it microchipped and bought every kind of toy, food, bed and basket available on the market for this kitten. Total bill: R7600. What could I do ? I had to allow for space in my home for him.

Big boys don't like kisses mom

He was the scrawniest kitten I’d ever seen and always had a runny tummy, I went through 12 different foods before finding one that suited his tummy, we went to vet after vet. Eventually after about four months and half a fortune he settled down into being a healthy kitten.

But he thought he was mine…

If I bathed he was on my chest, if I tried to sleep in he’d lie on me and stare at me until I woke up. He had a special meaow which was reserved for me only. Whenever I left the house he would try to follow me or sit at the door crying until I came back.

But he wasn’t my cat. Damn cat.

I knew him better than anyone and he took my bitching and always looked at me with those oversized eyes as if to say “I understand”. We had a strange relationship. I couldn’t admit I love him but he knew I did. He was just the crazy cat.

The night before Christmas last year we had just moved and Ashton wasn’t very happy with the move, when I tried to pick him up he growled at me and I realised there was something else wrong. So at 9.30pm on Christmas eve we rushed off to the emergency vet to have him seen to.

He had a blocked bladder and we were lucky that once they had drained it he was fine again. Apparently with the stress of the move and the litter box being moved he’d decided to pinch and that had caused the blockage. I was so relieved. He was up and about on Christmas morning and very happy to find catnip biscuits and dried sardines in this stocking.

Ashton on Christmas morning - still a little weak

This past week he started looking depressed again and on Friday night he started vomiting. On Saturday 23 July 2011,  Ashton got put to sleep due to renal failure. My heart was broken, turns out that the little kitten with the upset tummy was probably born with kidney problems and was lucky to have lived for 2 years.

I know I moaned and groaned at him all the time and called him crazy cat, I know that I bitched and complained whenever I had to take him off my feet in the middle of the night so that I could roll over in my bed, I know that I kept telling him that he’s a big boy and needs to move in with my daughter now, but in all reality, he was my cat and I adored him.

When we took turns hugging him and kissing him good-bye he hung his head in sorrow and I think he knew it was good-bye. He watched as the vet trimmed his hair and stuck the needle in and then looked at me and gave me one final wink and closed his eyes as though preparing for the end, it was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life,  holding him and watching the life drain out of him.

I love you Ashton and I hope you knew that when you died. I miss you.

Ashton on a good day – bad pic though..

1000 in a month!!!

I am so excited and happy, reached 1000 visits yesterday and that in my first month.

Thank you to everyone that read my blog in the past month, and to all the successful bloggers out there, I hope to be where you are one day. This month has been a rather hectic one for me and things haven’t exactly been going my way.

Help yourself to a slice of cake and thank-you once again for visiting. I am going to try reach 2000 in three weeks now. I better get down to serious writing I guess. Watch this space I will try to spruce it up.

Nasty Lasty…

This is an old joke but it always brings a smile to my dial:

(Have a great weekend everyone)

Social Security
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.” The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”

 

Thank you bloggers for theTick-Tock..

Today I have gone through so many different emotions and moods – most of them were caused due to the amount of time I spent reading through other peoples blogs- the rest were caused by the medication which the doctor has put me on for the problem I have in my heart cavity.

Firstly,  the medicine I am taking has had me itching, nauseous, shaky and confused  –  none of which I’d consider a contributing factor to recovery from heart problems.

The blogs that I have read today on the other hand, have been very amusing – some are rather funny, others informative and a few are exactly what I need to get me all steamed up and pro/anti something or other.

The people who wrote the blogs that I have laughed, smiled, cried, cheered, baked, cursed and stretched my way through today are the ones to which I wish to say thank you.

Thank – you bloggers on wordpress.com for the emotional workout you have given me today. You have put the tick tock back in my heart.

Keep Calm…..It’s maddening!!!(Part 2)

Okay so after learning to stay calm while people are ranting and raving, I decided to not instantly retaliate to people making snide remarks to me or about me, so now I simply bite my tongue.

Scenario:

I hadn’t been out for about 4 months and in that time was very fortunate to for some unknown reason to have lost about 16kg’s. I walk into the club and all my club buddies immediately run over to say hi and chat. This is probably a good time to explain that I am a real party animal and love my rave clubs. A real wild gran I am. So anyhow everyone there is happy to see that I am back and looking better than ever and then….

WHAM in the midst of all the happy greeting and compliments a little pint size blob decides to make a snide remark about me in front of everyone. WOW the looks that flew through the group were everything from disbelief to horror.

My emotions:

Die bitch!!!

Amusing part:

Well contrary to everyone’s expectations, I chose to pretend I hadn’t heard her and simply gave her a big hug and a hello, with my tongue firmly between my teeth and the sweetest smile on my face which definitely said exactly what I was feeling.

This poor little girl, she knew she had stepped on the wrong toes because everyone simply closed the circle and cut her out. I have been treating her as usual every time I have seen her since then but I can see by the way she is behaving herself that she cleary knows that it is not over yet.

A month down the line and she is still on her best behavior around everyone. She has no idea when I will have my sweet revenge and, being as young as she is, doesn’t yet realize that in fact this is the best revenge ever.

I probably won’t say a thing to her at all, at least not about this incident, I am strong enough to handle the insults and criticism (I have put this down to maybe jealousy) but I dare her with every ounce of my being to try insulting someone younger and more vulnerable than I am in front of me.

Honestly… honesty please!!!

So yesterday was the day that I had finally had enough of people’s assumptions and decided to put my thoughts across with no uncertainty. I am sure that there are a few people out there that might think I am being unfair and a little harsh but I pride myself on honesty and expect other people to be honest in return.

If I think back over things that I have done in my life, or things that have been done to me, I find it rather difficult to find regrets. This might seem unbelievable to most people but I am a realist and things happen for a reason – either I duffed up or someone else did.

When something goes wrong in my life I choose to see it as a lesson learnt. I might be upset about it for a day or two while I try to figure out what could be learnt from it and then I move on to the next page. If someone does something to offend me I will first of all remain quiet, if that is not warning enough then I will confront them.

If someone lies to me, I will confront them and give them the opportunity to redeem themselves but if they feel that it is appropriate to stick to their lies then they are gone. Lies are simply other peoples’ way of telling you that they thing you are a fool. I am not a fool for no-one and if I have confronted you about your lie and you lie to my face again then screw you – you’re a fool!

I am pretty straightforward and if I say I like you- I do, this does not mean that I love you, I need you , I want you- it means I like you!!! If I say I find you attractive and sexually pleasing – this again does not mean I love you or I need you, it simply means I want you – for a while at least.

Assumptions can be very dangerous and can lead to a lot of mayhem and

misunderstanding. Assumptions can really mess up situations that could otherwise have been great fun. I wish that I could just get it through to the people around me that by lying your way through life you are living life expecting people to lie to you.

I expect people to be honest with me and I find it extremely insulting when they aren’t and even more insulting when they assume that I am not honest with them.

Ps. I still want you – I don’t love you!!

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