whatever comes to mind…

Posts tagged ‘annoying’

Happy place , h a p p y p l a c e . . .

Oh my goodness, if this morning hasn’t been the longest week ever…

I got to work this morning after a nice long and peaceful weekend of doing nothing but lying in/on my bed watching movies and — all hell broke loose.

My manager has decided to launch the new pricing on our software which is great, and what I been suggesting all along, what isn’t great however is the commotion that it has caused in the office. Everyone has an opinion- everyone wants help…

So I go looking for my happy place — the weekend — the movies:

AVATAR – aaah yeah look the wonderful scenery and the lovely peaceful world, the beautiful sky with all its pretty moons – AAAAAAAAArgh look at the size of that thing – and now it’s after me….

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

KUNG FU PANDA 2 – sweet little cartoons all on my side now, I’m just a big lovable bear and I can save the world. Say what?? I am adopted??? Okay I’m out of here – cannot handle the emotional stress…

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

THE REBOUND – I’m to blame here for leaving the hunky young guy, I blame it on the emotional stress of being adopted and not finding out until now…

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

CRAZY ON THE OUTSIDE – mmmm I the oh so evil ex con now falls in love with my parole officer… and now the distrust… NO THANX

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

HOUSE BROKEN – PROBLEMS

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

GREEN LATERN – PROBLEMS

FFWD TO NEXT MOVIE

HOT CHICK, lightening thief, karate kid, butterfly effect, date movie, how to train your dragon, she’s out of my league, bad boys 2 – PROBLEMS, PROBLEMS AND MORE PROBLEMS

OH DAMMIT – no matter which I try going to, to find my happy place, I find problems, I guess there is no happy place unless you play to the end… so back to work – back to reality!! Got to reach the end…

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Nasty Lasty…

Pumba from the Lion King was standing by the side of the road, crying his eyes out as his friend Timone had just been run over …..


The cops arrive and take one look at the bloody mess and ask “What the f*ck happened here ??”

Tearfully Pumba looked up and said ……………..”a coon in a Tata

Nashua Mobile sent me a bill of R 120 000 for a R39 data contract in one month

This is a very interesting blog I found that I think might be worth following.

http://www.SCREWME.co.za

Go have a look and let’s see what happens….

Keep Calm…..It’s maddening!!!(Part 2)

Okay so after learning to stay calm while people are ranting and raving, I decided to not instantly retaliate to people making snide remarks to me or about me, so now I simply bite my tongue.

Scenario:

I hadn’t been out for about 4 months and in that time was very fortunate to for some unknown reason to have lost about 16kg’s. I walk into the club and all my club buddies immediately run over to say hi and chat. This is probably a good time to explain that I am a real party animal and love my rave clubs. A real wild gran I am. So anyhow everyone there is happy to see that I am back and looking better than ever and then….

WHAM in the midst of all the happy greeting and compliments a little pint size blob decides to make a snide remark about me in front of everyone. WOW the looks that flew through the group were everything from disbelief to horror.

My emotions:

Die bitch!!!

Amusing part:

Well contrary to everyone’s expectations, I chose to pretend I hadn’t heard her and simply gave her a big hug and a hello, with my tongue firmly between my teeth and the sweetest smile on my face which definitely said exactly what I was feeling.

This poor little girl, she knew she had stepped on the wrong toes because everyone simply closed the circle and cut her out. I have been treating her as usual every time I have seen her since then but I can see by the way she is behaving herself that she cleary knows that it is not over yet.

A month down the line and she is still on her best behavior around everyone. She has no idea when I will have my sweet revenge and, being as young as she is, doesn’t yet realize that in fact this is the best revenge ever.

I probably won’t say a thing to her at all, at least not about this incident, I am strong enough to handle the insults and criticism (I have put this down to maybe jealousy) but I dare her with every ounce of my being to try insulting someone younger and more vulnerable than I am in front of me.

Keep calm… It’s maddening!!! (part 1)

I have in the past been called tactless and have tried over the past few years to bite my tongue and keep my cool. It hasn’t been easy and I have endured a bleeding tongue at times but here are two incidents that come to mind that have made it worthwhile to me.

Scenario:

I am driving along with my children in the car and suddenly this car comes off the slipway and nearly rams into the back of me. The driver in a panic hoots.

My emotions:

Absolute anger – until I see the look of total apology on the driver’s face.

Amusing part:

As we pulled up at the traffic lights the passenger in the other vehicle decided to start ranting and raving at me. I turn my head and find an elderish Indian lady glaring at me and cursing, a highly apologetic old man cringing and waving a frantic apology and two children trying in vain to hide behind the seats in embarrassment.

Amongst the insults that flew my way were incompetence as a driver, being mindless and uncaring to the safety of others and racism (the South African favorite) Every 3rd word was Fucken and the ones in between were God and culture.

From the back seat of my car I can hear my kids saying “oh oh, now mom’s mad”, so I take a big calming breath.

I sat quietly and intently listening to her raging away and when she had finished I ever so calmly and sweetly asked her please to wipe the little red spot off her forehead as her found her behavior insulting to all my Indian friends and I’m sure that Allah would not approve, I also then offered to wait on the side of the road for her apology while they drove around the block to check the road signs proving that my knowledge of “road safety” was in fact superior to hers.

Upon this her husband first gasped then snorted as he tried to hold in a giggle – this earned him her attention and as I drove off -my whole body shaking in anger but a sickly sweet smile on my face- he simply smiled and waved a farewell.

Five mintues later my daughter plucked up the courage to speak and simply said, “That was way cool mom”

That was when I realized that NOTHING angers a person more than when you remain calm during an argument. It felt great!!

Pesky pests!!!

How the hell can a thing as tiny as a fruit fly annoy me so much??

Little bastards!!

I’ve been sitting at work all morning clapping in the air around my head like a happy little retard, trying to chase off the fruit flies that have invaded my office.

The one with 11 legs and nine lives chose to fly past my nose as I inhaled and that started my nose running and my eyes watering. It was just at that moment that the brave little short sighted fuc*er decided to look deep into my eye and got stuck to my eyeball.

So now I have a tickling terrorist up my nasal cavity that is seriously doing a victory dance and the short sighted fuc*er in my eye who has decided to start doing backstroke in my tears.

Now I am rubbing my nose and trying desperately to fish the olympian swimmer from my eye and guess what??

This is when two more camacazi pilots decide to annoy me— so in the confusion of rubbing my nose, picking my eye ball, holding my breath and clapping and slapping the air around my head I finally end up branding myself with a lovely red mark on my forehead. Now not only do I have the fruit flies to contend with but I seem to have a few little black spots floating around between them.

I have learnt quite a bit today – Power definately comes in numbers and size does not count! But more than that I have learnt that I most undoubtedly hate fruit flies!!!

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